Saturday, October 10, 2009

Driving People

I think people can learn a lot from cars.
In fact, I think people should be more like cars.
I will try to explain (but first point out that each line so far has started with the letter 'I', not something I planned. Cool, huh?).
You know how when a lot of people are leaving a room at the same time, say, a movie, a class, the gym locker room after somebody dropped a particularly heavy load? Anyway, I bet you noticed how traffic can sometimes get seriously backed up. A couple of people just stop right there in the doorway and need to talk. Completely disregarding the fact they are holding up up dozens of (possibly naked) people in a hurry.
Doesn't that just piss you off? Didn't you wish you had a horn so you could honk at them irritably? I mean, if a car had suddenly stopped for no reason and completely blocked the intersection, you'd honk. Right?
Another example. I'm walking down the street, in a bit of a hurry, and suddenly the woman in front of does an abrupt about-face and heads straight for me! Due to relative speeds and reaction time (not to mention the fact that I was pretty close behind her, getting ready to pass on the left) we had a head-on collision. Now, something like that wouldn't have happened if she had checked her rear-view mirror. But did she? NO! Because she didn't have one!
So, so far we established the fact that people need horns and a rear-view mirror.
Actually, a couple of side-view mirrors would help too.
I'm a pretty strong young man, and I help my friends and family schlep heavy, and often bulky, stuff. It's really hard to maneuver through doors and down stairs when you can't really see where you're going.
So, until we have these things installed, please try to be a considerate pedestrian and be aware of your surroundings. Anticipate what the person next to you (or in front of you) is going to do. Don't surprise the other pedestrians, and don't block the intersection!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an appointment to have a couple of blinkers installed on my shoulders. I can't run them yet, but when I finish writing the code for them I'll upload it via the USB port in my navel.

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